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While there is nothing My lonely married women over 40 Martinique about this state of midlife resignation, it takes on a new force in our age of global, networked consumer capitalism. Our lives are ever more psychologically and economically precarious; the families, homes, jobs and pensions that we look to as guarantees of a secure future are instead sources of deep uncertainty.
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The middle-aged person is liable to look in the mirror and see someone who could have done better, who has failed to fulfil their hopes and ideals. And what hope of change at this point?
Whatever the disappointments of work or family, the prospect of giving up either may seem a lot worse. And worse, something in you feels like joining in. Social media may seem like the ideal remedy.
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Facebook and Twitter cultivate an atmosphere of perpetual lobely affirmation and warmth, providing a rolling assurance of your value and lovability. But no sooner is loneliness banished than it returns.
This idealised version of yourself is, after all only a defensive carapace, so that the gap between your happily sociable online and lonely offline lives becomes a kind of reproach.
Affirmation and rejection womrn out to be two sides of the same coin.
A refrain I hear regularly in my psychoanalytic consulting room is the anxiety of the unreturned text or email, or the ignored status update. The anxiety brings out a crucial difference between real and virtual contact.
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